A little bird told me that some members of the Governing Body are unhappy with the shunning policy and want it changed (presumably due to the bad press from sites like these). Apparently they were overruled. Is this yet another policy that will start to be diluted and eventually dropped altogether or what and can anyone back up the rumour?
sweet pea
JoinedPosts by sweet pea
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25
Shunning Policy
by sweet pea ina little bird told me that some members of the governing body are unhappy with the shunning policy and want it changed (presumably due to the bad press from sites like these).
apparently they were overruled.
is this yet another policy that will start to be diluted and eventually dropped altogether or what and can anyone back up the rumour?
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The Kindest Most Effective Words
by sweet pea insuggestions please on the kindest and most effective (i.e.
they might stop and seriously think about why) to say to very special close friends that we will no longer be attending the meetings.
i spoke to the first of a few friends today and could tell they were deeply upset - their first reaction was "but there is no where else to go?!
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sweet pea
Suggestions please on the kindest and most effective (i.e. they might stop and seriously think about why) to say to very special close friends that we will no longer be attending the meetings. I spoke to the first of a few friends today and could tell they were deeply upset - their first reaction was "but there is no where else to go?!" and the hubby "you know I've not been on ministry for years, but I still believe it's the truth. It's a struggle but you trust your friends to struggle with you (!)". The mother in law sent an emotional text saying she was heartbroken and that it was worse than finding out her husband had a terminal illness (he unfortunately died last year so you can see our timing is excellent!!). I replied "Try not to be sad, we still love Jehovah, Jesus, the Bible, each other and you - they're the most important things, right?" it was the best I could come up with. We have a few more to speak to....
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67
Maybe I should go back and be a good little dubbie again!!
by AK - Jeff ini believe that i am experiencing a profound change in my personality, and those changes are at a stage where i have honestly contemplated this recently.
honestly.. i don't think i could ever do it - anyone who has followed me on the boards here know that i am neither suicidal nor an apologist for that lot.
yet, having been off work for a few weeks now with surgical recovery, i have had time to make assessment of my future.
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sweet pea
Jeff, Sounds like you need a holiday - fancy coming over to England? - we'd love to put you up - you've been a real inspiration to me in recent days and this post made me cry. Sweetpea
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Had The Chat With My Mother
by sweet pea inspilled the beans yesterday.
told her i was never going to another meeting again.
knew it wouldn't be too hard going as she's always had a few doubts herself, what i didn't appreciate was just how many she had and how hard she was finding it as she is developing a great social life with 'wordly' friends!!
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sweet pea
Spilled the beans yesterday. Told her I was never going to another meeting again. Knew it wouldn't be too hard going as she's always had a few doubts herself, what I didn't appreciate was just how many she had and how hard she was finding it as she is developing a great social life with 'wordly' friends!! However, she is is in a very warm and loving congregation with great elders. Also she feels that i) Jehovah is using the BORG to accomplish some things, even though imperfect and ii) they've taught her everything she knows and iii) the BORG has done a lot of good and iv) its given her stability in life. She has convinced me that what you've all been saying about keeping a low profile and fading rather than going all out on the distributing of a DA letter would be the way to go for me so that's what I have decided to do - she feels that you can't just destroy people's faith without there being something to help them cope with the aftermath. As she left her parting words were, "who knows, maybe I'll join you one day". And if she ever reads this post and recognises me - I LOVE YOU MUM WITH ALL MY HEART, YOU'RE A WONDERFUL PERSON WHO DESERVES AN INCREDIBLE LIFE WITHOUT THE WBTS. Just my father and Besty's family to tell now......
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Was There Something That Ever Bothered U About The "Truth" While U Were In?
by minimus inwhen i used to read the prophecies of revelation and see the society's interpetation i often thought to myself, "how could this be"?
i shelved a lot of things, hoping that maybe i'd understand over time or the "light would get brighter".. as an elder, i used to wonder how they (the society) could tell the elders one thing and put into print another thing.
while the rank and file were being told at the watchtower studies how the elders were to not judge unfairly at judicial committees, the elders were told to be safe rather than sorry when it came to "removing the wicked man from our midst".
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sweet pea
So many things. Could never get my head around the disfellowshipping - I could never completely avoid acknowledging a DF'd person and always in my heart felt very awkward, it just didn't seem 'Christian' but more of an eternal punishment... Not being able to have an honest conversation about doctrine. The constant doctrine changes. Some peoples attitude to faders - "isn't it a shame they're going to die at Armageddon" (This family had only stopped attending meetings!). Elders having secret meetings and having literature only they were privileged to see. The stupid change in not having S8's to record not at homes but going back to using silly bits of paper to do exactly the same thing just to get around the data protection laws! Being told by an elder that Jehovah's blessing wouldn't be on our house to have the group study there (we'd volunteered because our house is one of the largest in the congregation and the sister had had enough of it in her house) because Besty wasn't sure the Organisation was directed by God!!!!!! That's a few for now.
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25
FOR THOSE WHO GO TO THE KINGDOM HALL............I HAVE A QUESTION.
by juni inspecifically for those of you who have been in the jw religion many years and still attend -.
do you see a difference in the brothers' and sisters' demeanor (facial and otherwise) and attitude from years ago?
thank you for your input.. juni .
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sweet pea
I remember when I was a teenager I was always attracted to the congregation Io eventually joined because there was such a great social life amongst the youngsters and some great characters. Over the years this has definitely changed and even though our congregation still has some genuine, loving, caring, funny people who enjoy themselves, mainly social gatherings are limited to when people leave the congregation (how bizarre to bring everyone together to celebrate them leaving!!) - even baby showers are frowned on by some (how sad). Ironically I was having a chat with my mum about how difficult I was finding things with no social life at the hall (putting it down to i) no one wants to invite us to anything because we're not 'spiritual' enough or ii) no one's doing anything anyway) and the fact that many new 'worldly' friends I am making are inviting us to events all over the place (mainly birthdays). It's no great loss though - most witnesses aren't doing that much interesting with their life (no time what with secular work, meetings, ministry and study - many are so tired they don't have the energy and lust for life) and when you do spend time with witness friends you can't have any thought provoking spiritual discussions with anyone because everyone's afraid of apostacy or believes exactly the same as you do anyway and so, as a fader, I'm beginning to relish the idea of spending more time with more interesting 'worldly' people. I reckon it all started to go downhill when they stopped selling doughnuts, ice cream and bacon butties at the assemblies!!
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Anyone know where she is?
by sweet pea ini would love to get in contact with lauren welsh who used to be in redhill congregation, surrey, england - anyone know her?
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sweet pea
I would love to get in contact with Lauren Welsh who used to be in Redhill congregation, Surrey, England - anyone know her?
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7
BOILING UP
by sweet pea ini feel like i am about to explode!
having spent the last few days immersed in this site, reading all your wonderful, funny, strange, thought provoking posts, together with all the experiences on www.silentlambs.com i just cannot believe what i have been a part of all these years.
i am so angry inside - i am never, ever going to another meeting again but and want to tell all my closest friends (genuinely lovely non-muppet witnesses, although i am not naive in understanding how the mind controlling cult will influence their reactions and subsequent actions?
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sweet pea
I feel like I am about to explode! Having spent the last few days immersed in this site, reading all your wonderful, funny, strange, thought provoking posts, together with all the experiences on www.silentlambs.com I just cannot believe what I have been a part of all these years. I am so angry inside - I am never, ever going to another meeting again but and want to tell all my closest friends (genuinely lovely non-muppet witnesses, although I am not naive in understanding how the mind controlling cult will influence their reactions and subsequent actions? and at this point I don't even care if they do DF/DA me - the truth must be told! I always used to think 'fair enough if someone wants to leave the truth, no big deal but why go all angry and bitter/apostate and try and get everyone else out - now I know why and am beginning to even relish the idea of being called one (easy tiger, I hear you say :-)) if it means just one other friend sees the light and doesn't waste the rest of their life. I would also be tempted to sue anyone who made an announcement as I wouldn't have commited any crime/sin by just exposing all the lies. Out of interest, has anyone ever sued an elder for an announcement? Sorry to rant and rave but I just had to get this off my chest (the sleepless nights are taking their toll).
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26
Freedom
by sweet pea inwhat a rollercoaster the last couple of days has been.
having been prompted gently and lovingly by husband 'besty' i have examined my faith, sorry the organisation, and finally realised that he has been right all along in his reservations.
i feel all sorts of emotions, mainly happiness at finally feeling free - no more meetings (i never could see why we had to attend 3 a week and always felt stressed about taking the babies along when they should be in bed!
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sweet pea
Thanks for all the support and encouragement from everyone. Paralipomenon you said - "I'm working through the issue with my wife, would you care to elaborate on what led you to start researching for your own?" I have had a few doubts all my life but just ignored them (disfellowshipping and birthdays particularly, constant changes in doctrine and the fact that you can't go anywhere near 'outside research' which always seemed a bit strange), I sincerely believe in God and Jesus, that the bible is God's word to us all and that we should live a moral/good life - I dealt with the doubts by reasoning that Jehovah's Organisation was 'imperfect'. But what triggered stepping into the unknown was a comment Hubby (Besty) made about the Organisation teaching that Jesus is not our Mediator but Mediator only to the 144,000 (a seemingly innoccuous and uncontroversial subject that I had no idea about) - I checked out the details on jwfacts.com and felt that if this was so obviously a ridiculous, almost blasphemous belief, what else was? I then read all about the other issues and it all made so much sense (I was particularly taken with the writing style of the author (no axe to grind, no bitterness, just plain facts) and that he was an ex-Bethelite). Two sleepless nights later and the books are in the recycling and I'm not going back (what's the point, it would be hypocritical and it was getting too hard with two young babies anyway). What made a big difference to how I accepted what came from Hubby was that he was prepared to support me in taking the kids to the meeting even though he didn't believe any of it, maybe if he'd been stubborn and left me to struggle alone I may have been more stubborn in staying/not looking into things - I realise now the Organisation had blinded me (mind control!!!) to the fact that my husband is a very intelligent and loyal man and doesn't come to his conclusions lightly. I never dreamed I would be in this position, it feels very strange and the future will be interesting but in my heart I feel I have done the right thing. I wish you all the best in the world in your endeavours with your wife.
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26
Freedom
by sweet pea inwhat a rollercoaster the last couple of days has been.
having been prompted gently and lovingly by husband 'besty' i have examined my faith, sorry the organisation, and finally realised that he has been right all along in his reservations.
i feel all sorts of emotions, mainly happiness at finally feeling free - no more meetings (i never could see why we had to attend 3 a week and always felt stressed about taking the babies along when they should be in bed!
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sweet pea
What a rollercoaster the last couple of days has been. Having been prompted gently and lovingly by husband 'Besty' I have examined my faith, sorry the organisation, and finally realised that he has been right all along in his reservations. I feel all sorts of emotions, mainly happiness at finally feeling free - no more meetings (i never could see why we had to attend 3 a week and always felt stressed about taking the babies along when they should be in bed! and not to mention the many mind-numbing talks), no more assemblies (same stress involved in getting ready with two young ones), no more ministry, being able to celebrate birthdays (yippee! - something that's always bothered me, i always hated being different at school and not being included), being able to freely associate with lovely 'worldly' people who are so much more interesting than your average 'witness', no more feeling guilty that I'm not doing enough/don't believe all the policies and doctrines (blood transfusions/Cedar Point Ohio/Disfellowshipping/the list is endless) , being able to move anywhere in the country/world without worrying about whether there's a decent congregation there (yes i know that's probably a weird one but some of you out there may identify with that), etc etc. But I do feel sad, confused and angry at what happens next - how do I reconcile/deal with my closest friends - I want them to understand why I feel this way and what I have found out (great website www.jwfacts.com and this one of course) but I don't want to be branded an 'apostate' (another thing i've always felt uncomfortable with the loaded language) and i certainly don't want them to never speak to me again for the rest of my life (how cruel a belief for a controlling organisation to teach). Someone gave me the advice that I had to play the game and be very careful (obviously to avoid being DF/DA) but this doesn't sit right with me - I feel a need to be honest. I also don't want my friends to be fooled anymore by the organisation but I don't want to be responsible for them possibly having nervous breakdowns/crisis of faith and all their friends and family never talking to them again - HELP! So, where am I now - probably won't ever attend a meeting again and am celebrating my sons birthday this week with a few worldly friends (how wonderful is that for my little one - he will never know the pain of being different and being excluded...). I look forward to hearing from some of you and would love your advice on the best way to take things forward...... Cheers!